Communications from “The Edge”

March 28, 2019

Hey Malcolm,
I do New Zealand’s #1 music radio show on a station called The Edge
(www.theedge.co.nz).  We would love to chat to you on our show about your
life and story.
Please let me know if this is something you would consider.
Thanks heaps mate
Dom

*Dominic Harvey   **Announcer*
*The Edge*   MEDIAWORKS    *MOBILE* +6421451835


Dear Dom, yes I’d be delighted, particularly if you will let me explain that dolphins are telepathic. Several other people besides me have discovered this. It isn’t in the film “Dolphin Lover” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aEX33vAyF5Y&t=4s) because the filmmakers ran out of time and money. You should watch the film anyhow to familiarize yourself with my experience.
I’ll be tuning in to your show (so to speak, I’m old school) to see how you do what you do. Be warned!

Yours, Malcolm J. Brenner (the J is important, as there are at least three other Malcolm Brenners running around).

(Addendum) By the way, did I mention there’s a Kiwi angle to this? Look up author Frank Robson’s books, “Thinking Dolphins, Talking Whales” and “Pictures in the Dolphin Mind.” Finding his books meant I wasn’t crazy, or alone. Here’s an article he wrote for a trainer’s journal, and an audio clip from another trainer, “The Cove’s” Ric O’Barry.
Cheers!



Thanks Malcolm.  I’ll look it up.

I just watched your movie.  It was a fascinating watch….I just wish it
was longer.

Dom


If it was any longer, it would be boring. – Malcolm


March 31

Hey Malcolm,

When would you like us to call you?  It is now Monday morning here in NZ.
We could call you in an hour if you wanted?

Dom



Dom, thanks for writing. Yes, I am available for interview by phone or Skype in an hour. (415) ***-**** or malcolm.brenner1 Shall I expect your call?
BTW, I thought your piece about the friend who committed suicide was quite touching. You really can’t know what it’s like until it happens to you.
Yeah, give me a call. — Malcolm

(PS — please remember when you introduce me to use the middle initial “J.” in my name, as in Malcolm J. Brenner, as I am trying to distinguish myself from Malcolm K. Brenner, an MD who does very wonderful work with pediatric leukemia patients at a hospital in Texas, and I’m sure he is too. Thanks.)

(Addendum) Hey, did you get my earlier message? Are we go for this? Standing by with phone and Skype on for your call. (415) ***-****. — Malcolm

(Addendum) Oh one other thing, Dom, would you please let me know when the segment will air, and where it will be archived? I want to share the information with readers of my blog, malcolmbrenner.com. Thanks.


THE INTERVIEW

in which Meg, about one minute into the interview calls me “sick in the head,” my behavior “disgusting” (without letting me finish the story I was telling about Dolly’s behavior), states that “a dolphin cannot consensually decide to have sex with a human,” (like she knows?) and says that I “absolutely took advantage of that,” then rather than stay around and have herself corrected on air by me, walks out of the studio, leaving Dom and Ryan to interview me. Which they did, rather well, I thought at the time, for about 20 minutes.


Thanks very much for your time Malcolm.

Apologies about Meg.  But I suppose the polarizing nature of your story is
part of the reason we thought you’d make a good guest.  Randell and myself
both appreciated your candidness.

The interview will likely play out in the next couple of days.  We will
just have to get the audio cleared by our legal team here in Auckland, NZ
before doing so.

I’ll be in touch. Thanks again, Dom


Thanks for responding, Dominic. Why is it necessary to clear the audio through your station’s legal team? I didn’t do anything illegal, at the time, so this puzzles me. Can you clarify? Thanks, Malcolm


Our legal team just like to listen to anything we may play that could be
considered offensive/indecent/questionable by listeners.

It is basically just covering our arses in case a complaint is made to the
BSA (thats the NZ equal of the FCC in the US).


Dominic, ok, thanks, that sets my mind more at ease. — Malcolm


April 2

MY SHOW

  My section begins at about 42:40.


NOTEZ BIEN: My show has already aired!

April 4

Hi Dominic, Being a former investigative reporter and of a suspicious bent, I’m beginning to wonder if there isn’t a Spaniard in the works, as John Lennon so aptly put it?
Was my interview too hot to handle? Was Meg’s abrupt departure staged for my benefit? Her hostility didn’t seem appropriate to the provocation, and I think she misheard me. I said that after Dolly had maneuvered herself so that I was rubbing her genital slit, I broke off, went back to her head, and she did the same thing again.
In other words, I was trying to be modest, but Dolly had other ideas. So who is Meg really mad at, me, or the dolphin? For being a dolphin?
I haven’t heard anything from you yet, so of course I’m beginning to wonder if the interview is going to air and if so, whole or edited?
Please fill me in. If you’re going to shelve it, it was nice talking to you. — Malcolm


Hi Malcolm,

My apologies for the delay.  This is the edit of the interview.
Our sensitive (possibly over sensitive) legal team (big corporation bullshit) made us remove some of the more graphic stuff. 

(No signature, no sign-off? Dom knows the show has already aired, and what he’s sending me is a BULLSHIT FILE! He must think I’m stupid, because he hasn’t told me the air date yet, and you know I’m going to look in the archives, don’t you? I mean, wouldn’t you?)


Wow, that was quick. Thanks, I’ll listen to it. — Malcolm

Dom, the audio interview is quite OK, such as it is. Would you please send me Meg’s email address at the station, as I should like to write to her personally. Perhaps I can smooth some ruffled feathers. — Malcolm


Sure mate! That’s unnecessary but if you wish to write it is megan@theedge.co.nz

(He knows it’s “unnecessary” because the show’s already aired and moved on to something else now, having chewed me up and spat me out like a chunk of gristle.)


CenturyLink Webmail: You, me, and dolphins

April 5, 2019

Dear Meg,
I want to reach out to you personally because I think your performance last week was un-called for, and I’d like to know, for once, what motivated it?

What makes you hate me so much that you stormed out of the studio, leaving the interview to Dominic and Randell? I was for almost a decade a reporter for two daily newspapers covering the Navajo Nation, and I can only remember a couple of cases where I did that. In both cases I was provoked far beyond what you were; in fact, I question whether you were “provoked” at all by what I was saying. Your rage had a pre-digested, packaged quality that suggests it was actually manufactured long before you heard what were only the beginnings of my story about Dolly.

Furthermore, I think you misheard me when I described the dolphin’s behavior . Yes, I was a zoophile. But that was a quirk of my adolescence; it embarrassed me, and I wanted nothing more than a normal relationship with a woman.

Unfortunately, Dolly didn’t care about what I wanted, at least at first. What I was attempting to describe, when you exploded and fled, was Dolly’s attempt to take advantage of me. She positioned herself so I was rubbing her vulva, twice, and at that point I realized it was deliberate and broke off. I wanted to talk to the damn dolphin, I had no ambitions to have sex with her!

It was, as she explained later, what she did to all the adult humans at the park: try to solicit some sex from them. Sort of like a game. ( That was only one of several things she had to explain telepathically. Before you conclude I’m totally nuts, consider that 4 other trainers – Ric O’Barry of The Cove, Michael Greenwood of Peter Fisher’s Odyssey, David Holroyd, who wrote The Perfect Pair trilogy, and even your own Frank Robson, a fisherman from Taranaki who discovered that dolphins responded to pictures in his head and wrote two books about it, Thinking Dolphins, Talking Whales and Pictures in the Dolphin Mind – have spoken about the telepathic bond they shared with dolphins.)

Here’s two pictures of what happened when I brought my prospective girlfriend down to the dophin’s pen: (see below)

The dolphin recognized her as competition and threw her out of the pool!

The dolphin, in other words, had a serious jones for me. I thought I could control her, but I couldn’t; the idea that any human being, even a US Navy SEAL team (or the equivalent) can, is a ridiculous fantasy. The Navy SEALS I’ve talked to admit they’re helpless before the dolphin, which can outswim them every time. There’s no way that I, alone and naked, could “take advantage” of a 180 kg dolphin!

And in fact (to draw this to a close), Dolly actually defended me against an attack by the last male dolphin in the pool with her, and then, entirely on her own, figured out how to wriggle through a very narrow space where the male dolphin could not or would not follow, so we could have some privacy!

So where did I “take advantage” of her? Please explain.

Let me tell you a little bit about her. She was kept in a sea-level pen, rather than a pool, so she could perform in open water , swimming alongside a riverboat in the Intracoastal Waterway (Lemon Bay, to be exact) and jumping for fish from her trainer’s hand, about 3.2 meters above the water. Sometimes she met wild dolphins and swam off with them, but she always came back! Wondering why was really the start of our relationship. The answer I got was that she was studying us.

I will leave you with the ramifications of that statement.

But enough about me and the dolphin, back to you. You couldn’t even listen to my story! What did you think a guy who has written a novel called Wet Goddess: Recollections of a Dolphin Lover was going to talk about, Goldilocks and the Three Bears? Come on, Meg, that’s why I believe your anger was manufactured on the spot.

You were all primed and ready to explode with self-righteous rage at me because I was an “animal abuser,” when in fact I’ve been married twice, once for 12 years, once for 9, and I have a grown daughter by my first wife who loves my writing and designs the covers for my books. She works for a San Francisco ad agency, and she makes a hell of a lot more than you do. What does this mean? I have about 1000x the experience making love to women as I do females of other species.

And you know what? I abuse as much as I want, which (as Penn Teller pointed out) is ZERO. You didn’t react to me, you reacted to a paper cut-out in your mind, a convenient target for your rage. I think I deserve an explanation. I hope you learn some professionalism and tolerance in your career. – Malcolm J. Brenner


April 9

Dominic, it’s no wonder you never let me know when the interview was going to air – it never did! Instead you put on this disgusting excuse for journalism, in which I am denounced by Megan as an animal rapist (I am right about that, Meg?) but never given the chance to rebut any of her statements. My interview lasted a good 20 minutes, which you cut down to 10 on suggestion of the lawyers, but I guess that still wasn’t enough for station management or the advertising department. I’ve been through this before. How disappointing.

Furthermore, by calling me “an animal abuser” Megan has utterly defamed me. I have never been convicted of any such crime, and I never will be, because I do not abuse animals, people, or other living creatures! How a naked human could possibly abuse a 180 kg in the water is a question for physicists. It can’t happen, because the dolphin can do whatever it wants with the human, even the toughest military divers will tell you that. What a laughable accusation!

I demand that Megan retract her statement on the air, allow me equal time to address your audience on the facts regarding my relationship with the dolphin, OR that you put the full interview on your web site so your audience can judge for themselves what happened.

I expect an answer in 24 hours or I will take the appropriate actions, and those lard-ass lawyers of yours will start earning their salaries.
Sincerely yours, Malcolm J. Brenner



Dear Malcolm
I am the lawyer for *The Edge*.
You may not be aware, but New Zealand’s law of defamation does not cover legitimate expressions of opinion.  There is no basis for us to take any further action on this issue, and we do not intend to. Please contact me if you would like to discuss this further.
Kind regards
Tom
*TOM TURTON   **SENIOR LEGAL COUNSEL*


…and so begins my case with the Broadcast Standards Authority of New Zealand. Stay tuned for more exciting details!

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Interviewer denounces author as “dolphin abuser,” walks out.

Well folks, I went on the Dom, Meg and Randell podcast this morning (in New Zealand, it was late afternoon the day before in Punta Gorda) and about 4 minutes into the interview, as I was describing Dolly’s first advances, rolling on her back and swimming forward until I was rubbing her genital slit, then, when I moved back to her head, doing it again, Meg (the female member of the interview trio, as you may have adroitly guessed) exploded into rage completely unrelated to what I was talking about.

Without giving me a chance to answer her accusations, she said I was a “dolphin abuser” who “took advantage” of that poor dolphin! Then she stormed out of the studio, all too eager to leave before she could learn the truth: dolphins are sexual creatures.

Very sexual.

The two male interviewers, Dom (who recently had a good friend commit suicide) and Randell, continued the interview without her, and it went rather well from my point of view. I got to say everything I wanted to say, got to promote human-dolphin telepathy, got to answer all the interviewers’ questions about the event and got to plug my book and ebook at the end. Listen to it all here, friends. (As soon as it’s published, it was pre-recorded.)

UPDATE: They recorded it, then sent me a version that was half long but still all right, and then, without telling me, they ran this shit. I’ve been treated badly by shock jocks before (Bubba the Love Sponge and Howard Stern come to mind), but I’ve never been set up like this! I feel like a bowling pin, and the station is going to get a letter from me denouncing this.  It’s right here, and they start talking about me at 42:30.