Who Do You Trust?

Prologue

(Photo: Dolly, a dolphin I once knew, and yes, I mean that in the Biblical sense.)

{Photo © 2011 by Malcolm J. Brenner. All rights reserved.}

An Essay at the Request of the

Beautiful Cadaver Project of Pittsburgh,

but it was rejected for the anthology because “it didn’t fit with the other pieces.” Gee, I wonder why?

[As it turns out, I can only find this, for some reason, in .pdf format for now, and since I don’t have a .pdf >.txt converter, let me try this.]

Who Do You Trust

If you’ve got an opinion about this piece, I’d really like to hear it. It challenges what it means to be human! Please leave a comment. Thanks.

Dropped

surrender
I give up!

The Holroyds, that brother-sister UK couple who wrote The Perfect Pair trilogy, just sent me a “Dear John” letter.

For those of you unfamiliar with the lingo of WWII GI’s, a Dear John letter was a letter from your girl friend telling you what a great guy you are, and how she’s glad you’re defending her freedom, but while you were overseas fighting The Hun or The Yellow Menace or The Gooks, she met this really nice guy who isn’t being drafted because he has bone spurs, and now he takes her to tennis matches in his convertible…

…in other words, blowing you off. Well, that’s what the Holroyds’ have done, when they realized I’m really a ZOOPHILE.

Just for the record, the New Oxford American Dictionary defines a zoophile as “A person who is sexually attracted to animals.” Yeah, that’s me. I’ve been married twice, mostly successfully (I’m sure my daughter would like to think so), because I was able to expand my definition of acceptable partners to include women, the human species of female that comes into season more often than any other mammal on Earth.

In addition to having nice, smooth skin free of fur or bristles, women can drive cars (despite what they say in Saudi Arabia), raise children (often with a man’s help), balance check books (some of them) and perform other useful household functions that will puzzle a dog or even a cat. Don’t leave home without one!

I don’t go out of the way to advertise the fact that I’m a zoophile, but I don’t try to hide it either, because I’m lousy at lying, hiding or disguising anything. I wear my heart on my sleeve, where it belongs.

I also could fault the Holroyds for not reading Wet Goddess, or watching Dolphin Lover before they adopted me to carry their standard, but what’s the point? It’s kind of moot, now. They need me like another hole in the head.

I never figure on being a professional outcast.

Swimming with Orcas, N.Z.

This drone footage, taken by Dylan Brayshaw, is a remarkable record of wild orcas swimming peacefully, even curiously, with an unidentified red-head swimmer (Lucy, is that YOU?).

It is one of the most amazing pieces of video I’ve ever seen.

It proves unequivocally that to make orcas kill humans requires the abuse of captivity.

Please watch this and think about what must be going on in those huge, complicated brains. Then tell your Congress person or senator to pass a law banning the capture or killing of dolphins and orcas in U.S. territorial waters. They deserve it. Thanks!

(All footage © 2018 Dylan Brayshaw, all rights reserved)

COVID-19 SPECIAL: I MUST BE CRAZY!

Print

Yes, friends, it’s true! I must be CRAZY to offer not one, but TWO – COUNT ‘EM, T-W-O – books for this low, low price!

That is, two low, low prices.

Here’s one:

Growing Up in the Orgone Box: Secrets of a Reichian Childhood, normally $6.99, now at 60% DISCOUNT, your price $2.80 through April 30, 2020.

I wrote this book about my childhood, which was weird and horrible for a very, very strange reason: MY PARENTS BELIEVED IN SOMETHING THAT DOESN’T EXIST.

Sound a lot like religion, right? Maybe something especially odd, like Asatru, Scientology or Ten-ri-kiyo?

It was something even worse than that: A PSEUDO-SCIENCE. With the trappings of religion. Especially since the founder, a rogue Austrian psychiatrist and dropout of the Vienna Freudian school named Wilhelm Reich, became, in the eyes of his followers, a martyr to the cause of free investigation. He has the distinction of being the only person I’ve heard of whose books, research, instruments and products were seized by order of a federal judge, transported to an incinerator on Long Island and burned.

Six tons of them. Reich had quite a prodigious output. None of it what anyone who knows what real science is would dare call “science.”

I’m not going to get into any more than this about Reich and his awful legacy. Just read my story and know that in my youth, I not only suffered from a nearly fatally narcissistic mother, but I was sent to one of the most evil men in the North America, if not the world – FOR THERAPY!

Read all about it, what happened to him and the events leading up to my experience with the dolphin, in this book. CAUTION: Harsh language, gross stuff, domestic violence, poop, body-building, masturbation and bestiality are part of the story. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! “Trigger” accusations will be stridently rejected!

wet-goddess-cover

Here’s the other:

Wet Goddess: Recollections of a Dolphin Lover, normally $6.99, now at 30% DISCOUNT, your price $5.60 through April 30.

Hey, if you don’t know what this novel is all about, you probably shouldn’t be here, unless you came to learn, then welcome! Enjoy browsing on the foliage, or scenery, as you prefer. Refer to this.

All thanks to Smashwords’ AUTHORS GIVE BACK sale, which has inspired this compassionate, stunning feat of selfless generosity! They are a great outlet for self-published authors whose work’s too hot for Amazon!

E-book prices slashed!

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From March 1 until March 7, you, Dear Reader, can buy my two ebooks from Smashwords for half price! Why, that’s almost 50% off! 🙂 Both titles temporarily marked down from $6.99 to $3.50 in honor of nothing in particular, just that Smashwords gives all their authors a chance to do this every year, and I’d be a sucker if I didn’t take advantage of it!

The titles are, the novel Wet Goddess: Recollections of a Dolphin Lover and the childhood memoir Growing Up in the Orgone Box.

Smashwords Global Coupon Code: ZJ74D

Why Smashwords? Well, when I published Wet Goddess in 2010, they were the only ebooks publishing site that would accept “bestiality” — provided it was between consenting adults of both species, of course.

Nevertheless I’m in their debt, because the publisher fought hard to prevent the major distributor of ebooks from dropping the entire Smashwords lineup. So he got my second book as well, and a third ebook of Mel-Khyor: An Interstellar Affair is in the offing!

I think a lot of my critic’s problem lies in their not believing that a creature like a dolphin can exercise free will, or, being female, can experience libido, or can change her behavior on the apprehension of a thought. But they can do and feel all these things.

I’m looking into new ways of exploring the dolphins’ world without getting wet, specifically Remote Viewing, the information-gathering technique used by the U.S. military and the CIA in the 1980’s to spy on Soviet military objectives, allegedly without the Soviets being aware of it. Scientists are, of course, skeptical of any kind of out-of-body experience, but I’ll perform some tests and judge for myself, thanks.

So hurry, get out your charge card — er, your cell phone — and get two of my books for the price of one! They won’t last long at this price!

WARNING!

Both of these books contain unusual sexual situations which some people may find objectionable, and Orgone Box in particular contains scenes of adults committing physical, sexual and emotional abuse on a child (me). I don’t believe in “being triggered,” because people are not Colt .45s who walk around half-cocked, as my father, a GI in WWII, used to say, but Godz forbid somebody should accuse me of doing that because of the content these books! You have been warned, okay? If you’re easily offended, don’t buy them and then complain about the subject matter. You have been warned!


Thought For The Day

“One of the great challenges in life is knowing enough to think you’re right, but not enough to know you’re wrong.” — Nick GT on The Joe Rogan Show.

Galileo & Lovecraft

HPL-fishy1

“I submit that the Bible is the inerrant word of God, but it is not a textbook on astronomy!” Galileo Galilei to the Inquisition, 1630 or thereabouts.

 

We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far.  H. P. Lovecraft, “The Call of Cthulhu,” 1928.

Of the Gods, #1

Do gods write holy books?

Or do they inspire humans to write holy books?

I think that’s hardly a challenge, for a real god!

No, gods write the genetic codes for humans who write books.

Now that’s a challenge worthy of a god!

 

“Ray, when someone asks you if you’re a god, you say yes!”

– Winston Zeddmore (Ernie Hudson) to Raymond Stantz (Dan Akroyd)Ghostbusters, 1984