Yet another letter to our… king, I guess. He could be… McBeth? Where are the three wise women, and their coven of naked hag witches, when you NEED them? But even without them, I saw magic, bravery, and some utterly contemptuous behavior today. Here’s a letter I just sent to #45-47, AGAIN! He’s already in the whale shit that collects at the bottom of the Marianas Trench, so how much lower can he sink? STAY TUNED! (NOTE: The White House imposes a 4K limit on characters, and I have used ALL of mine!)
Photo: Saul Loeb, AFP. Body Language: Ukrainian!
Donald Dumpster Fire,
Wow, what a surprise I had today! I heard that you and Shady — you know, your Veep? — were meeting Ukrainian President Volodomyr Zelenskyy in the Oval Office, and of course I wanted to see your warm, charming, thoughtful, humanitarian diplomacy giving encouragement, money, resources and most importantly of all, powerful, precision, long-range American weapons, to the brave ex-televison personality (just like you, only not fat!) now called upon to lead his people in a totally defensive war against a large, bloodthirsty, ruthless and better-armed opponent who, TIME AND AGAIN, has oppressed, starved and murdered his people!
I expected to see YOUR LEADERSHIP ON DISPLAY! I expected to hear YOUR COMPASSION for a nation at war! And I expected you to CONGRATULATE President Zelenskyy on the bravery of his troops, the loyalty of the Ukrainian people, the skillful deployment of the weapons we sent him, and his resolution and valor in standing firm against the oppression of a murderous criminal madman!
Photo: Associated Press — HEY! Who the hell let THEM in?
You (not Zelensky, there was just 1 Ukrainian reporter in the room, you could tell who she was because her makeup was running like Rudy Giuliani’s hair dye) must’ve had about 1K cameras in there to cover the event for posterity, but a moment after I tuned in the broadcast on one of those bleeding-heart networks I watch, SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAPPENED!
I think my TV must have picked up an old episode of “Little Rascals” or “Leave it to Beaver,” because suddenly everything became B&W and what I was watching, changed! Now the show was of two nasty playground bullies, a fat, misshapen, ugly 6th grader named Donald and his accomplice, a 5th grader with 5 o’clock shadow named… hey, what does the J stand for in your Veep’s first name? I can’t be bothered to remember — JD, and they were harassing a tough little 4 grader named Vlodny, dressed all in black, for his lunch money!
“YOU DON’T HOLD ANY CARDS,” the lard-bucket Donnie thundered, trying but failing to sound bad-ass.
“We’re not playing cards,” Vlodny said.
“YOU HAVEN’T TOLD US HOW THANKFUL YOU ARE FOR TO US FOR NOT BEATING YOU UP!” JD whined, sounding like a weasel caught in a leg trap.
“YEAH, AND YOU OWE US 350 BILLION, JILLION, TRILLION DOLLARS,” that lying little bastard Donald said, spitting saliva all over Vlodny’s black clothes.
[Image generated by AI. It only took 3 tries! And no apologies, this time.]
At that point, you know what I really, really wanted Vlodny to do? GET UP AND PUNCH DONALD IN THE FACE, AND BITCH-SLAP SHADY! Then leave.
But strangest of all was THE HAND UP DONNY’S BUTT, like he was a puppet! And why did it smell like borscht? And then the screen went blank.
In conclusion: Since your repeated so many of Putin’s talking points on Ukraine, I conclude that you and your whole administration are RUSSIAN OPERATIVES, doing what the Soviet Union couldn’t do with force: YOU ARE DESTROYING AMERICA FROM WITHIN!
Ye Gods, Putin must have some hella-good COMPROMAT ON YOU! I’m telling my reps in Congress to seek a 25 Amendment solution to you, and if that doesn’t work, I hope some civic-minded citizen will sacrifice him or herself to perform a 2nd Amendment solution. Not me, I’m 73, suffer 3 debilitating diseases, and don’t travel. But you do, and I hope Air Force One crashes in the ocean with you aboard. Shame to kill those great pilots, stewards and staff, but remembering Timothy McVay, they would be merely “COLLATERAL DAMAGE.”
I am buying a bottle of good champagne and saving it for the day you loose your office, your power, your hostility to the America my parents fought to defend, what little honor you imagined you had, your “face” (Japanese) and if it comes to that, your worthless life, LOSER!
You & JD have embarrassed me, the American government, and all our former friends and allies abroad. Although I’m an atheist, I think we should open room in Hell just for you. It could be a new theme ride at Disneyland!
Truly yours, Malcolm J. Brenner, and no, ELON CANNOT HAVE MY SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER!!
Malcolm J. Brenner 