(Image by Imgur)
Why is zoophilia wrong? There are 10 reasons.
1) Because God condemns it. All gods, everywhere, all the time. And if they don’t, they aren’t real gods, they’re just false idols so they don’t count. Real gods condemn zoophilia!
2) Because even if 1) only applies to followers of that religion’s moral code, zoophilia is still wrong because it hurts animals. All animals, everywhere, all the time, even if it’s a 150 lb. man having sex with a 1,200 lb. mare or a 400 lb. dolphin that could kill him without thinking about it.
3) Well, it can’t be proven that all zoophilia hurts all animals, but zoophilia must still be wrong because even if the animals aren’t being physically hurt they can’t give consent, just like children, and therefore zoophilia is the moral equivalent of rape.
4) Well, OK, maybe SOME animals can APPEAR to give consent SOME of the time, but that’s just because when animals are driven by their inescapable biological drives they CAN’T NOT GIVE CONSENT. So it’s not really “consent,” it’s just their hormones making them appear to give consent, because as we all know real consent is what only adult humans can do.
5) Well, all right, even if we do acknowledge that animals are not machines completely driven by their inescapable drives and instincts, STILL they cannot be aware of the consequences of their acts down the road, so they’re just like human children, they can’t give INFORMED CONSENT. So zoophilia is still wrong.
6) Even if we admit that the concept of “informed consent” doesn’t apply to other species, zoophilia is still wrong because if it isn’t wrong, then what else isn’t wrong? Pedophiles will demand access to our children and necrophiliacs will demand access to our dearly departed, AND WE WONT BE ABLE TO STOP THEM!
7) OK, even if we admit that there’s no logical, rational, statistical or scientific connection between zoophilia and pedophilia/necrophilia, the distinction between “human” and “animal” is so basic and fundamental to ALL HUMAN SOCIETIES that if we let this distinction erode, the very concepts upon which our society and world-view is based will be threatened. Zoophilia is wrong, then, because it undermines the cosmic order that enables us to give meaning to this complex and confusing world.
8) Even if we acknowledge that our concept of the world is not absolute and explicit, but simply the implicit bi-product of our human senses and societal conditioning, ZOOPHILIA IS WRONG BECAUSE IT MAKES ME WANT TO HURL, DUDE! Gross!
9) Zoophilia is wrong because if it’s not wrong then our animal rights organization is going to lose a significant percentage of its income stream, which comes from people who support our fight against zoophilia. Why do we fight zoophilia? Because it’s wrong, and IT MAKES US MONEY!
10) It’s JUST WRONG, OK? I don’t need a fucking reason, it’s just WRONG!
(©2019 Malcolm J. Brenner/Eyes Open Media)