Port Charlotte, FL — In acknowledgment of the forthcoming military UFO/UAP report to the Senate Intelligence Committee, inappropriately chaired by that fount of misinformation Marco “I missed more votes than anybody!” Rubio, Eyes Open Media, publisher of weird books, announces a major price cut on one title.
Mel-Khyor: An Interstellar Affair has been reduced from $14.95 to $9.95 for a limited, but at this point indeterminate, time. Shipping remains at $3.99, making total purchase price for the book + S/H $18.94, a saving of $5.00 over the previous price.
It wasn’t really necessary to point that out in the previous paragraph, but I want to make sure you realize I’M PRACTICALLY GIVING THIS FREAKING BOOK AWAY JUST TO GET IT READ, I’M MAKING SKIN-OFF-MY-KNUCKLES THIN PROFIT MARGINS HERE, AND I CAN’T AFFORD TO DO THIS FOREVER!
“I’ve probably lost my mind, due to all the daily stress I suffered during the four years of the previous administration,” Brenner confirmed from his cinderblock, hurricane-resistant, above-the-flood-plain home near the Hospital District of Port Charlotte, “but I have reduced the price on this book by around 33.333… etc. percent, a significant amount, I figure, to provoke some sales, get some reviews and get the public talking about my ideas about what UFOs/UAPs might be, they way they are talking about dolphin sex and dolphin personhood in lounges, bars and oceanariums across this country.”
Mel-Khyor tells the breathtaking tale of Susie Louise McGonagall, a professional English teacher and amateur mother and housewife, and her encounters with three men:
•Her first husband, who becomes an abusive, alcoholic jerk;
•Her second husband, an investigative newspaper reporter;
•And preceding them both, Mel-Khyor, the engineer and only living survivor of a alien spaceship that crashed almost in Susie’s back yard… or so she remembers! And the investigative reporter must find out the truth… if their relationship can survive Susie’s painful recollections of life with “the jerk,” and the buried memories of her other strange, almost-human lover…
The story progresses on four time lines, from the Rocky Mountains of Colorado to the rings of Saturn and beyond, in one constant, intertwined plot, leading to a provocative ending.
“Jeebus, there’s enough wit, sarcasm and genuinely weird sci-fi in here, including consensual sex with aliens, for a dozen of those so-called books the so-called sci-fi writers are churning out lately,” Brenner lamented, holding his novel up before a verdant, cascading wall of bamboo while the motor drives flashed and the flashes whirred. “It’s a wonder they’re still showing ST:TOS on MeTV, I guess nothing great has been written in this genre since 1967?”
And look! The book even has a newspaper review… a weekly, but it’s a real newspaper on news print stock with ink and big presses and everything!
You’re probably that same poor sap who was offered Microsoft stock at $3.50 a share in 1980 and didn’t buy, aren’t you? YOU ARE, AREN’T YOU? WELL DON’T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE TWICE IN YOUR LIFE! DON’T LET YOUR FINGERS LEAVE THE KEYBOARD, GO TO AMAZON.COM AND ORDER THE TRADE PAPERBACK FOR NOW ONLY $9.95, A 1/3 SAVINGS, or go to any reputable place where you order AUDIOBOOKS and order Mel-Khyor as a .mp3 file, read in the author’s inimitable mellifluous voice, recorded in his home amphitheater/studio!
Don’t delay, order it today!
You will, you will, you are growing sleepy…
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Malcolm J. Brenner 