After watching the utterly humiliating spectacle of the first and second elected officials of the U.S.A. — Dumpty-Trumpty and Shady Jay-Dee, if you weren’t clear — acting like mid-level Mafia bosses putting the squeeze on some two-bit hood named Zelenskyy, the commentator Keith Olberman, who hosts the podcast Countdown, was really angry! He cursed the Deplorable Duo up one side and down the other for the pettiness, their meanness, and their fondness for mass murdering autocrats who enslave their people. And in all 28 minutes of this, toward the end, Olberman made a comment that reached out of the flat screen display and SLAPPED ME UPSIDE THE HEAD! This is it:
“Burn in Hell, Trump! I’d say the same to J.D. Vance, but I suspect he’s realized he’s already burning in Hell. HE WORKS FOR TRUMP!”
(CULINARY NOTE: Were you as puzzled as I was by the huge, obnoxious grease stain on the yellow Oval Office couch, next to Secretary of Defense Peter “Cottontail” Heggseth, in Trump’s shameful meeting with Zelenskyy on Friday? Well, scientists who analyzed the stain say that’s all that’s left of former U.S. Senator Marco Rubio (RRR-FL)! Once the least-voting resident of the Senate Chamber, who delighted in taking overseas junkets almost as much as Texas Sen. Teddy “Bare Bear” Cruz, Rubio somehow — rolling dice? Rock, paper, scissors? A tarot card reading? — got elected chairman of the Senate Intelligence Committee, which is kind of funny if you think about it. Because he’s got about the intelligence of a castrated bull. Sort of an ox-y moron! When HE was running for president, Rubio, a child of Cuban boat immigrants who put their dry feet in Miami, rightly lambasted Trump on a variety of issues, among them being close to Vlad the Impaler — excuse me, same guy, wrong century! But when Herr Drumpf won the primary, Rubio was at the head of the line to kiss His Royal Heinieness’s Ass, and got the coveted Secretary of State position! But, unlike J.D Vance, Rubio had a lower melting point, and it was apparently exceeded by the heat in the Oval Office while the two Elected Bullies were trying to turn up the heat on Zelenskyy, who, WARNED IN ADVCANCE by other European leaders, had apparently donned asbestos underwear as a precautionary measure. Smart move, Volodomyr!) SLAVA UKRAINE!
AI generated image to my specs, third try. Vance looks a little too Old Testament, but aside from that I think this captures Shady’s current career ladder rather well! Problem is, on that particular ladder he’s NOT ASCENDING… and funny thing, the further down he goes, the hotter the rungs get!
Malcolm J. Brenner 