NEWS FLASH: Scientists prove female dolphins enjoy sex!

(Above: a wild dolphin in Charlotte Harbor displaying the swollen breasts of a lactating female. © 2010  Malcolm J. Brenner/Eyes Open Media.)

At last, somebody (two somebodies, in fact, with PhD.s) has done the science on a delicate, touchy subject: the dolphin clitoris.  And I am thankful for it.

This provides me with validation for the experience in Wet Goddess (which some have disputed) when I described how I gave Dolly (the dolphin in question) an orgasm by letting her masturbate on my toe, and, later, while making love with her, even though I wasn’t able to penetrate her fully.

What made Dolly different from a dog who humps your leg, as I point out, is:

1. A dog who humps you, or another dog, probably isn’t looking for sex, he or she is asserting dominance. I used to own a delightful little fixed Husky, Pugsley, and every night after dinner Pugsley would hump my housemate’s pit bull mix, Keiko. Keiko, an intact male, never paid the slightest attention to her, but would let Pugsley do her thing without interference. It seemed to matter a lot to Pugsley.
2. Even if we don’t assign motives to the dog’s behavior, humping you is all it can do, and it does it rather blindly. We’ve all seen (or watched videos of – c’mon, admit it!) a sex-crazed male dog trying to hump a bitch’s head, and he isn’t looking for a toothy blowjob. In his excitement he’s acting instinctually. A dolphin can switch programs. If one strategy doesn’t work, it will try another. If something it’s familiar with isn’t working, it will try something new, or even, heavens forbid, peep into your mind to see if it can fathom what you’re thinking. I’ve had them do that to me, and suddenly change behavior. It’s weird, and I wasn’t even aware of what was happening at the time, but it happens, as four trainers will attest (the late Frank Robson, Ric O’Barry, Michael Greenwood and David Holroyd, stage name Capello).

Drs. Patricia Brennan and Dara Orbach, my hat is off to you, ladies! I am deeply grateful to you for doing the hard and difficult research this subject entails, if you know what I mean.